


Zero Gravity

by bluemoonj



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Clueless Jeon Jungkook, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Lee Taemin is a Little Shit, M/M, Mentioned Lee Taemin, Oblivious Kim Taehyung | V, Secret Crush, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Teen Crush, Underage Smoking, Virgin Jeon Jungkook, Virgin Park Jimin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonj/pseuds/bluemoonj
Summary: Not a lot is talked about in a conservative country, and that can lead to lots of people to feel like they are struggling alone. With debut coming up, BTS is preparing. They are all struggling with growing up, but especially Jungkook and Jimin, trying to figure out their feelings when they think they can't talk to anyone and that they are all alone.A timeline of Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship, from debut, current, and future.





	1. 2013 Part One

Things were always taken way too far, sometimes it really was funny and we would all laugh about it and move on later, but this time I don’t think that’s going to happen. It was usually because either the hyungs got way too harsh with their scolding and upset one of the younger members, or it was that the young ones were getting way too rowdy and hurt each others’ feelings in the process. This time it was just that but between Taehyung and Jimin. They never really fought about anything serious, so I usually wouldn’t consider it to be damaging in the slightest. But, going off of how Jimin had been describing his time at school recently, I can only imagine that this behavior made everything worse.

“Jimin-ssi?” I wait patiently as I hear footsteps coming closer to the door. 

“Yea?” he replies, with a small sniffle following his words. Sending a sharp pain shooting through my chest. 

“Are you okay?” I say, “Can I come in?” 

“I would really rather you didn’t Jungkook.” His voice sounds small; meek. His words usually carry weight to them; meaningful and spoken with conviction. I’ve never seen him like this before. Shutting himself away from people who care about him. He is usually very open and wears his emotions on his sleeve. But now, he is burning on the inside and won't let anyone extinguish the fire in his stomach. 

“I just want to talk to you Hyung. I promise I just want to help.” I rest my hand on the door. Even threw the silence, I knew he was standing on the other side. Was he waiting for me to say more? What else could I possibly say? Before these questions could be answered his bedroom door slowly opened, revealing a distraught and emotional Jimin, trying to keep himself together in front of me. His room looks like a disaster area, I knew Jimin was emotional, but I never thought of him as being destructive. Everything that was once neatly kept on his hanging shelves and bedside table are now cascaded throughout his and Hoseok’s shared bedroom. This seemed very out of character for the older boy. 

“I’m really sorry about the mess Jungkook-ssi, I didn’t clean today.” This was an obvious lie, but I could still see something was tearing him up from the inside out. Before he could muster more lies to blanket over his hurt, I hugged him. He was tense at first, then let himself go, enveloping his arms around me and crying onto my shoulder.

“Shh.” I cooed. Rubbing his back. “You need to tell me what happened or else I can’t help you, and I want to help.” It seemed as though my words flooded his eyes with more tears as he seemed to cry harder than before, I didn’t mind, I knew he would do this for me. I haven't had to do this for any of the hyungs before, I’m usually on the receiving end of these hugs. It puts a calming and warm feeling inside my chest to be able to return the ear to him. 

“I-I don't know, everything at school is really hard.” he starts. Trying to wipe his tears away, leaving red stains behind on his cheeks. “I just-I can’t make friends Jungkook. I tried talking to Tae’s friends and they were really mean to me.” He gave up on wiping away his tears now and just let them stream down his face, rolling off of his chin onto his white shirt. 

“What did Tae do?” This question seemed to make a fire burn on his cheeks, turning them all shades of red.

“Nothing! He did nothing. He sat there and didn’t say a single word.” Jimin started pacing back and forth; touching each wall with the tip of his shoe before turning around to do it all over again on the other side of the room. “I just- I don’t get it! How could he sit there while they said horrible things to me? It really hurt me.” he continued, balling his small hands into fists, clenching them over and over inside each other; his eyes brimming with tears. “I thought he was my friend! He just sat there and cowered!” Jimin’s anger was at a boiling point, he was going to burst on either me or Tae, and if I can prevent Taehyung from getting the ass-end of his mistake I need to calm Jimin down. 

“Hey.” I start, with as much of a soothing tone I can muster. Jimin is scary when angry. He gets angry very easily and has a very strong personality, that I would never admit to him, has scared me on the occasion. The six of us have a saying for when Jimin has an outburst like this: “Was it you?”

“Yes?” he says, a shaky breath hitching at his words.  
“What did his friends say to you?” as if a frog got stuck in his throat, he was silent, and said nothing. He could've fooled you that at this moment he wasn't even breathing. 

“Nothing, just forget about it. I was being overdramatic.” he chokes, wiping the stray tears that have fallen from his eyes. 

“You can’t fool me that easily Hyung,” I let out a small chuckle. “Tell me what they said, please?” he sits down next to me on his bed uncomfortably. I leave a respectable amount of space between us to give him room to breathe, which was what he needed. 

“Well,” he started, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Uhm…” following every break in his words would be followed by a crack in his vocal cords, he was about to cry. I rested my hand on his shoulder and rubbed lightly. He looks at me with his eyes filled in tears, I give him a silent nod of reassurance. The nod he needed to be able to continue. “They...kept calling me ma-jja.” I look at him confused, but the hurt was still evident all over his face. 

“Ma-jja? I’m sorry, but what’s ma-jja?” Even through my ignorance I really tried to be as sympathetic as I possibly can be. Jimin shifts again in his seat and bites the inside of his cheek; thoughtfully. 

“Ma-jja means...a gay guy who bottoms during sex.” My face goes all shades of confused when hearing his words. Why would they come up with these things?

“I’ve never heard of that before.” I whispered.

"It’s slang, not supposed to be a slur but they said it like it was. Or maybe it’s a slur the whole time. Or maybe-” he’s rambling.

“Look,” I say, interrupting his train of bad thoughts. “ I don't know either, what's important here is that it hurt you. Was it said to intentionally hurt you?” I ask. He bites the inside of his cheek again, thinking. 

“Yes.” he responds.

“How long have they called you this?” I say, this question triggers something inside him, causing him to shut down completely. 

“A few months,” he mumbles. Something boils inside my stomach making me feel sick like I was going to throw up. I could feel like bile stinging the back of my throat. I stand out of anger.

“A few months! Why didn't you say anything sooner?! Why hasn't Tae done anything to stop this?! Have they said anything else to you?! Jimin talk to me!” I almost scream, frustration pooling inside my skull I’m almost shaking. I want to yell at him, shout in his face because he is being so stupid and not taking his feelings into account. But more so I want to beat the shit out of these people that Tae considers friends. 

“I-I” he studders, his words coming out in chunks again. “I-don't know I-was scared I-”  
I already knew he was scared. But what of?

“I know you're scared but you have to tell me everything Jimin, I promise I’m here to help.” I pass him a small smile. He doesn't return it, but he appreciated it. 

“Taemin. I’m scared of Taemin.” a visible shutter goes up threw his spine. Taemin?

“Taemin? Like Shinee Taemin? Why him?” my too many questions are filling Jimin like an already full water balloon, he’s about to burst. 

“He’s one of Tae’s friends at school, he’s the one who started the name, and starting the bullying. He started the everything.” Jimin’s words flowing out of him almost as fast as his tears. He doesn't even bother to wipe them anymore. “On my first day Tae introduced to everyone, and everything seemed fine; except for Taemin. He looked like he was going to beat every bone in my body. He had a look on his face I can't forget. Jealousy.” his breathing hitched, making his cries turn to sobs. But I still sat there, listening and hanging onto his every word. “Just every day after I met everyone he had something to say or something to do to me. It started subtly then got gradually worse. Eventually getting the rest of Tae’s friends in on hating me. Telling me how ugly I am every day, telling me to lose weight, to disappear, saying I was gay.” I could feel his heart breaking with every word that came out of his mouth. I’m wondering whether I should talk or let him get it all out.

“Why hasn't Tae done anything about this?” I decided to speak after a few moments of silence, allowing Jimin to catch his breath. Pulling himself together. 

“That’s the thing, they never did it in front of him until today,” he said weakly. “They would always do it when he wasn't around, they didn't want Tae to get a bad image of them and leave the friend group.” confusion is plastered across my face for sure at this moment, why was Tae so important to them? 

“I feel like you need to talk to Tae,” I stated bluntly. His eyes shot up to mine, in anger? Fear? I can't pinpoint it. He audibly inhales and exhales through his mouth. Contemplating. 

“I cant Jungkook-”

“Yes, you can. Stop saying you can't.” I push. Wanting this whole ordeal to be sorted so everyone can be happy. He needs to be honest with Taehyung if he wants this whole thing to go away.

“Jungkook you don't understand-” my blood is boiling under my skin, his bedroom feels like a million degrees again. 

“Do I not understand the whole story? No, I wasn't there. But Park Jimin if I am going to let you allow your feelings to be hurt then I would be the dumbest person in the world and an even worse friend.” I could see a blush rise on Jimin’s cheeks that had not been there previously. But even though it made my stomach turn upside down in the best way possible, but I kept going. “I would be the worst person in the world to let you be hurt, let alone be hurting all by yourself, with nobody knowing about it.” I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. “Let me help you. Talk to Tae please.” Jimin looks down into his lap then back up to me. Something in his eyes is glimmery and shiny. 

“I want you to be there with me.” he replies, his face knotting in a combination of anxiety and worry. I don't know from whether it's my anticipated response or to the future conversation with his best friend. Presumably, it’s a mix of both.

“Okay.” I say. My reply is simple but it seems to sit well with him. His features look exhausted. He needs to sleep. I check the clock and it reads very late hours. I need to sleep too. What surprises me most is that Hoseok has yet to show up in his and Jimin’s shared bedroom. He was in the room when Jimin has his burst, so he might have taken that as a hint to crash in Yoongi or Namjoon’s rooms. Jimin and I say our goodnights and see you tomorrows, and I close the door softly behind me. Leaning against it for a moment before heading to my bedroom. I luckily got a single room so I can come and go as I please without the worry of waking up a roommate. I swiftly change my clothes and get into bed. My thoughts keep flooding back to Jimin, thinking about how he could have kept all those thoughts to himself for all this time. Wondering of whether or not he will sleep tonight. Or if I will. Even with things in my mind left unanswered, I drift off into an uneasy sleep.


	2. 2013 Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook's mother comes to visit him from Busan after hearing of his recent homesickness. She learns about her son and how he has changed since living in Seoul. Having this conversation with his mother really gives him some kind of feelings he cant entirely put into words. But, he knows that he needs to let go.

Dance practice went fairly normal, nobody seemed on edge or opposing. After his conversation with Taehyung I can really see a change in Jimin, he seems more like his regular self. Instead of being clouded by hurt and betrayal he seems more at peace, I mean as peaceful as he can be with our debut coming up soon in less than two weeks. Everyone, even management, seems on edge; even Namjoon who always seems like he has everything under control. 

“Jungkookie?” I hear a soft voice behind me. I know who it is before I even turn myself.

“Mom?” my head turns and my small mother is standing before me. My heart races, I haven't seen her in so long. She’s still living all the way in Busan with my brother and father while I’m in Seoul. As soon as my brain can process everything I almost tackle her in hugs.

“Oh, Jungkookie! I’ve missed my boy.” she touches my cheeks and kisses my forehead, enveloping me in a tight hug. The tight hugs I’ve missed over the last year of me not being home. I can feel her heart beating hard against her chest pressed against mine. After moments of silence, taking in each other’s presence, I finally speak again.

“You’re here? Why?” what a stupid thing to say to your mother that you haven't physically seen in over a year, great job Jungkook. She chuckles, the creases by her eyes showing more visible. 

“To pay you a much-needed visit, you’ve been talking about how homesick you are recently” she looks around to the other members, who have been silently standing in the corner watching this entire interaction. Slightly taken aback by my mother's words, an embarrassed blush creeps across my nose and cheeks; tinging my ears. I haven't mentioned to any of them of my resent homesickness, too focused on debut I didn't think that it would matter to them. 

“We can leave if you would like privacy?” Namjoons words crash into the conversation, I wasn't expecting words from them. I pretty much entirely forgot about them being in the room. 

“No no no, I interrupted practice and I apologize for that boys.” my mom replies, looking at the guys then back at me. 

“It’s not a problem Mrs. Jeon, it’s alright,” Jin says with a bow. His bow shortly followed by bows from the other members as well. 

“Oh there’s no need for bows, I appreciate it though.” my mother says with a sweet smile. Formalities haven't been something she holds very close to heart. She and dad both have that in common. “Speaking of leaving, I should leave you to your practice Jungkookie. Big days are ahead of you. I should let you work.” she says quickly, following it with a peck on my cheek. Not leaving room for any objection. “I will see you for dinner tonight okay? I will be back at five o’clock. I love you.” a smile spread across her cheeks.

“I love you too, Mom.” I give her one last hug before she walks out the practice room, the door closing with a small latch. I look to the other members, all of them looking at me as I shift my weight on to my other leg, I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

“Why didn't you tell us you felt that way Jungkook?” Taehyung says with a sad expression painted across his features. Embarrassment boils in my stomach bringing back the feeling of sick growing in my throat as it did a few days ago when I was talking to Jimin about school. 

“I-I don't know I was embarrassed.” I scratched my nape and kept my hand rested there, and my eyes made contact with the floor. The air feels heavier. Or maybe it’s just me. 

“Okay, well, we don't have time to focus on this. We have work to do.” Yoongi pipes in, after many moments of silence. He’s always been very work-oriented, but I didn't think it was to the point of being almost unempathetic. “You can see your mom later, until then, we have things to get done.” that’s all that was said until he, and the other members, made their ways out of the room. Embarrassment still burned on my face and tinted it pink. I understand their silences, everyone is stressed and ready for debut to come and go so we don't have to worry anymore. While I finally look up from the floor I notice one person had stayed behind, Jimin. He looks at me, with a face of understanding. My face goes red again, but I don't think it’s from embarrassment. But I try to push it to the back of my mind. 

“Yes?” I ask, quiet and meek. 

“You have no reason to be embarrassed, I’m homesick too,” he says, scratching his arm. I stare for a little too long before a reply comes to my mind, my face flushes pink again, but so does his. 

“I just try to be strong, you know?” I propose, making eye contact with him. His eyes stare back, thinking. “For everyone. Not just myself.”

“You can't always be selfless Jungkook,” he says. 

“I’m not always, I feel like I am always getting support from everyone else. I need to try and support myself.” I admit. I see his features fall a bit at my words. 

“If you say so, I just want you do know that I’m always here for you.” he starts, scratching his neck. A thick silence stills around us. But I give him a grateful nod, trying to show him my appreciation. “But we should get headed to vocal training, or Yoongi hyung might get really upset. What do you say Jungkookie?” adding emphasis to the nickname, he got himself a slap on the arm. This time my face flushes with embarrassment but also churns my stomach with butterflies. I don't respond to what he says, but he laughs as we leave the room. It clicks with a latch again. 

***

I’m either painfully early or painfully late, no in-between. My mother knows this, but I feel like it still irritates her. She called me ten minutes ago telling me I was twenty minutes late, I wish I was better at being on time. We had agreed to meet at a small restaurant in Seoul, a few blocks away from the management building and dorms. I swear I have never gotten dressed and ready so fast in my life, I really should have showered. Almost breaking the door down of this small establishment, I find my mother sitting at a table with a cup of coffee in hand. She sees me and smiles brightly. 

“Well Jungkook, that has to be a new record of late for you.” she snorts, pettiness dripping from her words. I can't help but smile at her.

“Oh c’mon you know I was busy! Cut me a bit of slack.” We both smile and laugh with each other, we have always been really close. Moreso with her than my dad.

“What’s done is done Kookie, let’s move forward.” she smiles, taking another sip of her coffee. “How is life for you in the dorms? Roommates alright?” she takes another sip.

“Well luckily I don't have a roommate, everyone else does though. I’m grateful I get my own space.” she nods, listening to my every word.

“That’s good, I’m happy for you.” the conversation continues like this for a while. Small talk about living in the dorms, training for the debut, then goes to more into topics I don't like to talk about. 

“Mom, I don't really have much to say about this,” I say, rolling my eyes at her. Almost trying to ignore the fact she always knows things about me that I don't know. 

“You mean to tell me that you don't have an interest in anyone? Doubtful.” she sips at her newly poured coffee. My stomach churns again. 

“Nobody mom, absolutely nobody.” I can feel the room get hotter. 

“Jungkook I can see you visibly uncomfortable. Just tell me about her and get it over with.” she rolls her eyes and smiles. Sometimes I wish she didn't know everything about me so I could escape from these confrontations easily. 

“Uhm, well,” my palms are really sweaty and I scratch my neck again. “She..has brown hair. Brown eyes.” I say, drinking my water. 

“That’s very helpful Kookie. What’s her name?” my heart stops. 

“Uhm. Ji...woo. Jiwoo. Jiwoo...Park.” I hate lying to my mom. I really do, but I’m trying to figure things out too. 

“Oh?” she says surprised. Interest spreading across her face, lighting up her eyes. Why won't the questions stop? “Tell me about her.”

“There’s not really much to say.” I gulp.

“How old is she?”

“Seventeen (17).”

“Does she go to SOPA, too?” she stirs her coffee. 

“No, K-Arts High School.”

“For?”

“Dance! Now can we stop with the questions please?!” I burst out, I don't yell often but I don't know what came over me. Guilt? My mother is taken aback by my sharp reaction to her questions. I just want to prevent myself from continuing this lie. The answers weren't lies, but the ‘she’ part was. 

“Alright,” she replies quietly. “Let me know when you're ready to talk about her.” she sips her drink again. She is absolutely relentless about this mystery girl. I’m screaming inside myself, wanting to rip my heart out of my chest. My eyes burn and my hands clench. I just want dinner to be over with. 

***

The cold night air of Seoul hits me like a truck when we are outside the restaurant. My mother and I exchange kisses on the cheek and we give hugs and say our goodbyes. As invasive as she can be sometimes, I really do miss her.

“Update me on thinkings with Jiwoo when you can.” she smiles proudly. While a frog fills my throat.

“Yes, of course.” I lie. “Hope things work out.” I need to just shut up.

“I love you Jungkookie, I’ll try to see you again soon.” she kisses my cheek once more and gets into her taxi to take her to the airport. I give her a silent wave from outside of her taxi car window, as it drives away slowly. Every part of me wants to rip at the seams. I can’t put my feelings into words, but all I know is that I need to let them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back with another update, I used this chapter to build relationships and show character personalities. Now every chapter will be in the point of view of Jungkook, but a lot of them will be. It will change between Jungkook and third person. I hope this helps for the future. I will be back soon.


	3. 2013 Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what really happened during Jimin and Taehyung's conversation surrounding the bullying at school and Taemin.

**Third POV**

Why did he have to be so stupid? Jimin thought to himself as he watched the raindrops roll down his dorm room window. He knows that he shouldn't have ever told Jungkook about Taemin, even though in his heart of hearts it made him feel better to have someone to talk to. He traces the raindrops on the window as he hears his bedroom door creak open slowly. Turning around he is conflicted on how he should feel when he sees who is standing in his doorway. 

“Hi.” says a meek Taehyung. He looks so guilty, he almost always does. 

“Hello,” he replies fidgeting with the hem of his white t-shirt. Taehyung closes the door behind him and sits over on Hoseok’s bed, which is across from Jimin’s. The room sits in silence for a few moments, the air becoming more and more like water instead of oxygen. Both of the boys avoiding an annoying amount of eye contact. Taehyung is the first to speak.

“I don’t know what I did wrong, but whatever it was, I’m sorry,” he says. Very unsure of himself. Implying on what had happened a few hours ago in the kitchen.

“You know I don't like Taemin, why did you bring him to the dorm?” Jimin’s eyes fill with tears again, tears of anger and frustration.

“In my defense,” Tae starts “you’ve never told me why you have such a problem with him. I mean, I understand today he called you annoying at lunch, but other than that I have no idea what is wrong with him.” another silence follows Taehyung’s words. Jimin trying to think of what to say, but he knows the consequences of his actions if he says something about Taemin to Taehyung. A flashback interrupts all of his thoughts, a flashback of Taemin.

***

“You understand nobody fucking likes you right?” Taemin said, anger and vindictiveness taking over his words as he has the collar of my school uniform between his white knuckles. My head is pushed so hard against the bathroom mirror I’m surprised it hasn't shattered. My mind races as he pulls me back and shoves my head back into the wall, my vision goes blurry, the corners of my vision laced with black and white flashing lights. Why hasn't anyone come in? Right...right...he locked the door after he followed me here. My mind isn't clear, my words are stuck on the tip of my tongue and my voice box is completely shot out of fear. 

“I-I’m-” I try to speak but the words won't follow my mouth. I wouldn’t have gotten many words out anyways, he spits in my face, moving his hands tighter around my neck. I can breathe, but he wants my attention.

“Listen, Park, I don’t think you would want your little secret getting out right? So I wouldn't make any more noise,” he says, my stomach sinks. What does he know? 

“I know about you Park. Way more than I probably should or want to.” he let’s go of my neck, almost condescendingly. As he walks over to the other side of the bathroom and pulls a cigarette out of his back pocket, igniting it, and slipping it in between his teeth. “I know about your little crush Park,” he continues after a long drag of his cigarette, I gulp. “You and that little freshman.” 

“You don't even know him!” I raise my voice, my defensiveness kicking in. He shoves the cigarette between his lips and walks back over to me, grabbing the front of my blazer and pushing me back into the wall. He gets in my face, too close for comfort, his nose almost touching mine. 

“You think so huh?” he chuckles underneath his breath, still able to talk with his cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth. “I know his name is Jeon Jungkook, he is fifteen years old, a freshman at Seoul School of Performing Arts and he is specializing in singing. Shall I continue Park or do you believe me?” he scoffs. Letting me go and backing away, taking an inhale and exhale, tapping the excess of his cigarette into the sink before returning it to his mouth. I stay silent. “Oh? Do I need to keep going? You think he looks cute in a button-up shirt. In your words he is ‘sexy’ and ‘the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” my eyes fill with tears at his words. I don't let them fall, because that's what he wants. 

“You think of him as ‘loveable’ and ‘absolutely charming’. All you want to do is ‘kiss him’ and ‘hold his hand’. Is that right Park Jimin? Tell me if I’m wrong, these are your words. Written in your handwriting. In your school notebook.” he takes my notebook out of his inside blazer pocket and throws it on the bathroom floor. Putting his foot on it so I can't get to it even if I wanted to. I swallow again, my tears burning my eyes, but I hold them in. He picks up my notebook and holds it in his hands.

“Let's read an excerpt shall we?” he says, turning to a random page. I lunge at him trying to grab it from him.

“No!” I say. He hits me. I back up, touching my face. I feel a cold liquid running down my nose, the metal taste moving in between my lips. 

“You know what sounds good? An entry from April 17th, 2013.” he clears his throat melodramatically. Sitting on the bathroom sink, like a performance. 

“No...please,” I beg, losing all pride at this point. Humiliation really settling into my stomach. My tears getting harder and harder to hold inside. All he does in reply is let out a dark chuckle. 

“Today was quite busy, from dance practice and vocal lessons,” he starts, I know what's coming next, and I hate myself for it. “Jungkookie looks very cute today, with his soft brown hair and beautiful eyes.” he scoffs at my words, adding way too much exaggeration to his reading. “I want to kiss his lips. Lips that look softer than mine would ever be.” I try to snatch the book away from him again. I fail and get another hit for it. I cough, but keep my feet planted.

“Please stop! Just stop! You got what you wanted!” my tears roll down my cheeks and broken sobs escape my mouth. I cover my face in humiliation. All he can do is laugh. 

“Oh, no Park I haven't. Because you and Taehyungie are still friends, he still hasn't gotten rid of you.” he chuckles, tapping the falling ashes from his cigarette into the sink again. “He will realize one day how worthless you are, how little you bring to everyone. How much of a bother you are, then we will walk away. Leaving you to be alone. As someone like you should be left.” he throws his cigarette in the toilet, flushing it. I stay on a floor, on my knees, sobbing silently, avoiding his eyes. He checks his watch.  
“Class is almost over Park, I have to get headed out.” he grabs my hair so I look at him, he kneels in front of me on the balls of his feet. “Forgot one thing,” he pauses and gets close to me, his nose almost touching me again. “You tell Taehyung about this. Or anything about our little conversation, you won't be alive long enough for him to be friends with you. Got it?” I silently nod, he lets me go. Unlocks the door, and leaves me on the dirty bathroom floor.

***

“Hello? Earth to Jimin? Park Jiminie?” Tae snaps Jimin out of his daze and cold sweat. 

“Oh, I’m-sorry I-” Jimin stuttered. His thoughts are still somewhere else, slowly being brought back to Earth. 

“You don’t dislike people without reason Jimin-ah,” Tae says, shifting, “it’s not like you. What’s wrong with you and Taemin?” Jimin sits for a moment, thinking over what he can tell Taehyung to make this all disappear. But then he thinks back to just a bit ago, what Jungkook had said, for him to tell Taehyung the truth. But if he does, then everyone will know about his secret feelings for Jungkook. If he keeps one friendship, he destroys another. 

“I’m just…” he thinks for a moment. “I’m just jealous Tae!” he blurts. Silently cursing himself, the deed is done. 

“Jealous? Jealous of what? Me and Taemin?” he says, almost amused.

“Uhm, yeah. I’ve just felt slightly neglected lately. You haven't been around much and when you have it’s just for practice then you leave to hang out with Taemin.” the guilt is building in Jimin’s stomach, while he is digging himself deeper into this lie. Like hell, he couldn’t even be honest entirely with Jungkook and tell him the whole truth of everything that’s happening with Taemin to try and keep his secret longer. He feels like such a coward, why can't he just not give a shit and let it all go? Right, his fear of rejection. 

“Oh, Jimin!” Tae cooed, “I didn't know you felt that way! I’m so sorry I feel like such a bad friend. I feel so stupid!” Taehyung says exasperatedly. Almost tackling Jimin in a hug in the process. “Why didn't you tell me about this? You usually tell me when things bother you.” he continues, rubbing Jimin’s back. Jimin sits there silent for a moment, guiltily figuring out how to continue this lie he is building from the ground up. 

“It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not because I'm a bad friend Jimin. I’m so sorry.” Taehyung emphasizes. Standing up. “I will be better from now on, let’s hang out tomorrow evening after school. Movie or something like old times yano?” he smiles, Jimin does too. A fake one, a guilty one, a scared one. 

“Okay…” is all Jimin can reply with before Taehyung leaves, saying his goodnight. Jimin sits on his bed, riddled with guilt and shame. He wants to scream the truth at everyone, but he knows he can't. Then he is hit with another thought, Taemin is trying to separate Taehyung from Jimin, but from Jimin's conversation he had with Tae, that won't be happening… so what will Taemin’s next move be to separate the two boys? This question racks at Jimin's brain while he tries to settle into his bed. He wishes he wasnt so stupid and never wrote his feelings in that notebook, moreso that, he wishes he was normal and didn't have these weird feelings for Jungkook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was really fun to write. feel free to comment and leave a kudos. i'm working really hard on this story. :)


	4. 2013 Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin is really starting to understand his feelings for Jungkook, but pushes them deep down and replaces the butterflies with shame and guilt, resulting in physical manifestations. He hides it as well as he can, so far nobody has noticed. At school however after having Taehyung to himself all day, Taemin finally makes his appearance.   
> (TW: implied self-harm, implied eating disorder behavior)

When the sun had risen this morning I had felt myself get up a little slower, a little more weight on my chest than usual. I open the curtain, to let in a bit of sunlight, and hear a groan from across the room; Hoseok. 

“Jimin-ah! Close the curtains! Way too bright!” he rolls over, covering his head in his blanket. 

“Some of us have school today.” I roll my eyes playfully. Walking over to my closet and grabbing a freshly washed, dried, and ironed school uniform, setting it on my bed. 

“But I don’t need to be awake though!!” Hoseok huffs, his voice sounding more awake than it did a few moments ago. “But you might as well enlighten me on if that's actually true or not, do I have to take Jungkook to school today? Or can you and Taehyung manage that? Or is he shunning us and walking? He rambles. He’s either way too talkative or says absolutely nothing, and this morning seems to be his sassy and overly spoken sunrises. 

“I don't know,” I say, thinking for a moment. “I’ll go check with one of them and see what the plans are this morning,” I assure as he rolls back over in his half slumber.

“Okay, wake me up if the need be.” I roll my eyes again and smile wide, he really was a character. 

After getting dressed, with my tie hung loosely around my neck and my shirt untucked I go over to Jungkook’s bedroom. Waiting a few moments, before hesitantly knocking. No answer. I knock again, still no answer. I walk in slowly, not wanting to walk in on something that could be potentially mortifying for him and myself, to be honest. But, thankfully, nothing was seen except for a peacefully sleeping Jungkook. My cheeks get warm at the sight of him, no matter how humiliated I was at Taemin reading my words, they were all true. He seemed so… soft. So content, he seems like nothing in the world could ever touch him or hurt him, and honestly, I would cross a sea of nails with bare feet to ensure that this boy never got hurt. It always seems like he has no worries in the world, and if he does, he does a damn good job of concealing them. 

“Jungkook-ah?” I say, making my way over to his bed, he doesn't even twitch. Peacefully still far away inside his own mind. I sit down in the middle of his bed, my back pressed gently against his side. 

“Jungkookie it’s time for school,” I say slightly louder, he still doesn't even churn. I stare at him, completely taken over by sleep. I reach out and brush the small hairs that have fallen into his face during sleep, and push them behind his ear. With the tingle of his skin, I feel him start to move, I stand immediately. Cursing myself silently. 

“Jungkook?” his eyes open, he looks up to me and smiles a groggy morning smile. I can't help but think he looks absolutely amazing, but if you asked him he would say otherwise.

“Oh… g’ morning Jiminie.” he follows with a yawn, a heat burns my face. He looks over at his alarm clock. Groaning. “It’s seven o’clock! Why am I awake? School starts at eight-thirty!” he groans more before attempting to roll back over and fall asleep. 

“Well Mr. Jeon, I needed to know some crucial info before your morning schedule started,” I say, sarcasm melting from my words like warm ice cream in a waffle cone. He turns back around to me, huffing melodramatically and smiling. “Is Taehyungie bringing you to school today? Are you walking? What’s the plan Kookie?” his face goes red and he rolls his eyes with a smile, I would assume from the stolen nickname from his mother but spoken threw my lips. 

“I’d prefer if you and Tae took me.” my skin turns hot again. “Because Hobi listens to weird music in the car and I don't really feel like walking and being late.” he chuckles. “I’m very bad at time management.” isn't that the truth. 

“Duh. I mean like you have an alarm clock NEXT to you and you don't even have it set to anything? What’s even the point of having it if you're not going to utilize it?”

“Okay, ouch! Maybe I like the aesthetic of people thinking I have my life together.” he almost falls out of his covers in a fit of laughter. His bare chest rises higher than his blankets, and I see his tan skin, I gulp but divert my attention as best as possible. 

“No fifteen year old has their life together Jungkook, you're still not fooling anyone.” I tease, he scrunches his eyebrows together, creasing his nose. God, he is so cute. 

“In my defense, I don't have a single hyung to look up to in this dorm! I have to fend for myself!” he melodramatically blames.

“Oh, my heart really bleeds for you Kookie, in a warm bedroom in an air-conditioned building, with plenty of food in the fridge. It really does ache for you. But it is almost seven-thirty and we need to leave by seven forty-five so you should get your ass out of bed.” I smile proudly and he stands, his blanket falling to his feet, I gulp in my throat.

“Alright, alright. Finally playing hyung I see. Okay I’ll get dressed, tell Taehyung I will be ready in ten minutes.” he looks at me with kind eyes and a bubbly laugh. I nod, trying not to look him up and down, keeping my eyes from wandering down his body. I silently nod and close the door of his bedroom behind me, leaning against it. God Jeon Jungkook, you're dangerous and you don't even know it. 

Trying to forget about what had happened, I go to the bathroom and lock the door, moving over to the sink. I stare at myself in the eyes, I look tired, more tired than normal. I didn't sleep well last night, barely at all if I’m honest with myself. The mental pain is starting to manifest physically, and it hurts. I press my hand on my arm, my sleeve gripping onto my skin. A long, drawn-out, sharp pain jolts fro my wrist up to my elbow, it burns and aches. I need to stop doing this to myself, but I don't know what else to do. With Taemin breathing down my neck and with these thoughts of Jungkook in my mind, everything seems so inescapable.  
I pull out my phone and text Taehyung telling him that Jungkook and I will be outside in five minutes to leave for school and to be ready, he replies quickly saying a simple ‘okayyy’. I’m glad he is cheery this morning, I wonder if it can be contagious and give me a taste. 

***

“What do you mean? Halo 4 is so much better than Spartan Assult!” Taehyung shouts back to Jungkook. He rolls his eyes back.

“No no no, you have it all wrong,” he starts. “ Everything all the way down to the composing was better in Spartan compared to Halo 4. Tom Salta did so much better than Neil Davidge.” he rants from the backseat, scooting so far forwards that he is almost in the front seats entirely. I know nothing about Halo or who the hell Tom Salta is or Neil Davidge, but what I do know is that when Jungkook is passionate about something, he knows absolutely everything about it. It makes me want to remind him that; “everyone hears you Jungkookie there is no reason to shout.” and give him a small peck on the cheek. I dismiss these thoughts immediately and replace them with shame and guilt instead as we pull up to the front of Jungkook’s school. 

“Bye Jungkookie have a good day!” Tae yells from the driver's side, enthusiastically waving at Jungkook as he steps out of the car. He does a silent goodbye just consisting of a wave and a smile. All I give is a small wave and a smile, driving away before Jungkook even crosses the threshold of the school front doors. We only have ten minutes to drive five blocks, explains why Taehyung is in such a rush. 

***

My school day has been out of the ordinary; at least for me, it’s been quite a bazaar. I haven't seen Taemin all day, nor has Taehyung left my side since we got into his car with Jungkook at about seven forty-five this morning. It’s weird, I didn't expect our conversation to have this much of an impact on him, to not want to leave my side or even sit with his friends during lunch. Which, side note, is absolutely vile. I don't even know what it is, Taehyung and I have been debating which kind of meat it is for the past ten or so minutes.

“Horse. It’s definitely horse meat. I can hear its hooves clomping.” Tae says, puncturing the mystery meat with his fork. His face harboring a look of absolute disgust. 

“Horse? I’m going more with dog. I mean it would support the stereotypes we already have against us, am I right?” my remark causes both of us to almost fall out of our chairs with belly bursting amounts of laughter. I missed being with Tae at lunch, I almost forgot how great his company is. This all soon comes to an end when I see Lee Taemin make his appearance for the first time today. We walk over to Taehyung and I and sits right next to me, grabbing my shoulder so hard it feels like it’ll leave bruises for weeks, and decides to shove himself in our conversation. 

“Hey, Taehyung! Where have you been all day? Barely seen you at all?” he plasters the fakest smile on his face, I almost want to smack it off his lips. 

“Hi hyung,” Tae says with a pleasant, genuine smile spread across his face. If only he knew, I thought to myself. If only he knew how terrible of a person Lee Taemin is. “Yeah, I’ve been hanging around Jimin,” he nudges me with his shoulder. “I’ve missed it,” he admits with a delicate smile. Taemin is forcing a look of happiness, but under the table, I get a swift kick to the knee, I wince noiselessly. Rubbing my knee with my hand, gritting my teeth in pain. But Taemin just smiles while Taehyung sits ignorantly with the same smile glued to his face. 

“Yano Taehyung… I found something that I think is super interesting the other week.” Taemin says, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth, he is planning something, but what exactly?

“Oh? What’s that?” he asks, taking a bite of the mystery meat and pushing it around in his mouth. Sticking his tongue out at the grotesque texture. 

“Well... let me show you.” is all Taemin says before he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a yellow spiral notebook, with the letters ‘PARK JIMIN’ written on the cover. My stomach drops into my shoes, a lump makes its way into my throat as tears from into my eyes. But my body is utterly frozen, covered in a layer of sweat and complete mortification. 

“Jiminie? What’s this?” he lets out a small laugh as he tries to grab it off the table.

“Taehyung no!” my body unfreezes for this moment. Stopping Taehyung in his tracks. 

“Why? What’s wrong? It’s just a notebook Jimin. What’s the big deal?” he asks, a valid question to someone who hasn't been following the Park Jimin soap opera for the last few weeks.

“Yeah Park… what’s the big deal?” Taemin says, looking at me in the eyes like he is going to devour me whole. With the look of ‘who’s winning now fucker?’

“Jimin it's just a notebook. Don't overreact.” Taehyung says, rolling his eyes and smiling once again. Sometimes I want to slap that stupid smile off his face.

“It’s not-it’s” my words get stuck in my throat again. “It’s a journal Tae, I’d prefer it stayed private.” possibly the smoothest recovery I have had yet, to be honest.

“Then why did Taemin have it?” Shit. Fuck. I weigh the pros and cons of my situation. Expose Taemin to then have him expose me anyways but then I get a swift kick to the ass? Or, do I expose myself by willingly letting him read my ‘Jungkook Journal’ and then have the rest be a mystery? I mentally flip a coin and decide to give myself a fighting chance.

“I don't know, that's a good question Taehyung.” we both shift our gazes to Taemin. Who, despite being on the edge of a cliff, is acting as cool as a cucumber and is acting like he has a parachute for that cliff edge to save his ass. 

“I found it on the floor of second period yesterday.” liar, fucking liar with a parachute. You found it two weeks ago when you were rooting threw my locker when you were in the process of stealing my money so I wouldn't eat to ‘be a friend and help me lose weight.’ Don't worry Taemin, because of all of your fat comments I’ve lost ten pounds and it’s making everyone question my every move, I hope it helps my visuals. That’s what you have wanted to do this whole time right? Be a help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger! sorry haha I wasn't planning on this being a cliffhanger but the chapter was getting long haha and I thought it would be a good idea to end it and keep everyone on the edges of their seats. I hope you liked it, im still working hard. leave a comment and a kudos if you would like to give feedback! thank you!  
> -bmj


	5. 2013 Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung offers Jimin support and is trying to shine sunlight on the rainstorm that is his ordeal.

Crying in a toilet cubicle in a boys bathroom is just about as glamorous as Jimin thought it would be; which would be not at all. His eyes are burning with embarrassment, anger, frustration, and ultimately guilt and shame. He feels so sick to his stomach, it’s practically begging for Jimin to empty it onto the tiled bathroom floor. His chest is heaving along with his sobs, pulling at his hair in frustration. Why did it have to be me? He thought to himself. 

“Jimin!” a loud bang hammered the door. “Jimin, open up please.” Taehyung pleaded. He just wanted to talk with Jimin. He wanted to be by his side. 

“Tae… go away.” Jimin replied like a blade was on the tip of his tongue. Overstepping, Taehyung walked into the bathroom anyways. Uninvited. 

“Jimin, come out please.” he rests his hand on the toilet cubicle door, staring at the lock waiting for Jimin to unlatch it. “Jimin, please, I want to talk to you,” Taehyung speaks softly against the door. 

“You're just going to beat the shit out of me like everyone else.” Jimin sulked, pinching his arm out of reflex. Wincing at the pain. 

“Am I like everyone else Park Jimin?” Taehyung’s tone shifting slightly, sharpening out. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Am I ‘everyone else’? Do I treat you like everyone else? Am I your best friend… or am I everyone else?” Taehyung sounds hurt, guilt pings inside Jimin’s chest. Without letting another word slip through Taehyung’s lips, Jimin opens the door. Not even a moment passes before Jimin is completely drowning in his arms, Taehyung brushing the tears from his cheeks. As if Jimin is overflowing water, his dam had burst. Tears flooding down his face, his chest heaving as he sobs hysterically.

“I’m sorry Tae. I’m sorry.” he tries to wipe his tears away, but with no prevail. He loses the battle with his own emotions. 

“Why are you apologizing to me?” Tae cooed in Jimin’s ear, rubbing his back, trying to calm down the other. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” he continued rubbing circles into Jimin’s back until his breathing had gone from fast and sporadic, to more steady and even. Jimin is thankful for Tae’s soft nature during times like these. For when Jimin gets worked up, angry, anxious, or stressed, Tae is always by his side. So Jimin not telling Tae about something that has been eating him up inside for almost a year is very out of his character when it comes to Taehyung. 

“This is wrong Tae, this whole thing is so wrong and gross.” Jimin rambles. Letting the words flow out of him like water. “Just-Jungkook is my dongsaeng! He’s-he’s a boy! He’s supposed to be like a little brother to me and I’m ruining everything! If he finds out Taehyung he will never talk to me again!” the words won't stop running from his mouth until Tae interrupts his busy mind. 

“What else is Jungkookie to you Jimin?” his words hit Jimin like a truck.

“W-What do you mean?”

“What else is Jungkook to you? How would you describe Jungkook?” Jimin lets Taehyung’s words linger in the air for a few moments. 

“T-Tae I’m not-” Jimin stutters. Immediately wrapping his arms around Jimin’s waist, Taehyung, pulls him in closer for a tight hug. Shame burning under his skin, Jimin starts to sob into Taehyung’s shoulder, letting it all out. 

“You can't hide your feelings Jimin… it’s not good for you.” Taehyung rubs his back, as Jimin keeps crying into him. They stay like that for a few moments, until Taehyung breaks the silence between them. “Now tell me, what is Jungkook to you?” he keeps Jimin held close as the answer sits on the tip of Jimin’s tongue. 

“He… means a lot to me.” Jimin can feel a lump forming in his throat. But he tries to swallow past it. 

“How so?’ 

“He… makes me happy.” Jimin tried to wipe his tears away. 

“How does he do that? I make you happy too, what’s the difference between us?” this question lingers, then Jimin decides it’s time to break his walls down that he has spent so long building. 

“Tae-he-Jungkook is-” he huffs, growing frustrated with himself for not being good at words. “He is-He makes my heart flutter! When I’m around him and he is smiling it makes me feel like there are butterflies in my entire body. I get so nervous that I am going to mess up or not get his approval.” Jimin starts and feels like he can’t stop. “I was to hold his hand. I want him to kiss me, I want him to just-ugh-I don't know-touch me and hug me and-and call me his boyfriend!” Jimin said exasperatedly. Emotions tugging at all of his heartstrings. He looks at Taehyung, and he is just standing silently, with a peaceful expression painted across his face. 

“Tae?” Jimin says, looking at the other boy nervously. “Taehyung?” silence still fills the room. “Kim Taehyung!” Tae seems to snap out of some trance before he responds. 

“Sorry I was thinking… you need to tell Jungkook.” that wasn't the reply Jimin wanted to hear from his best friend. 

“I-I can’t do that Tae!” Jimin panics, he can’t, he’s not ready.

“You have to Jimin, keeping these emotions inside of you will only hurt you.” Taehyung’s words are wise, and Jimin knows that he is right, but doesn't want to admit it. With no reply Jimin puts his face back into Taehyung’s chest, wanting nothing but everything to be over. Wanting the world to just suck him into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! im super sorry i haven't updated in about a week or at least six days, my mental health is not good, but don't worry about me, have this shorter chapter. i'm kinda struggling to get chapters out because of mental health, but I love this story so i am trying! fighting!  
> leave a kudos and a comment if you would like.  
> i will post again today or tomorrow because this chapter was so short (half as long as usual)


	6. 2013 Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a slow burn with a slight cliff hanger. jikook angst is high however.

Jimin and Taehyung have developed their own sense of understanding after the disaster in the bathroom of school that day; Jimin is stubborn. Everyone knew that before, but Tae just knows it a little more than everyone else. The boys debuted almost three and a half months ago with their first single album, now it’s September and their first mini album just came out; ORUL82. 

“You need to make sure your spacing and timing are right; we need to stay in synch.” Hoseok says. Namjoon rolls his eyes and so does Jin, they know they aren't the best dancers of the group, but they sure do try really hard. 

“Go easy on ‘em, we’ll be fine.” Yoongi pipes in. Their noonas, managers and stylists are hectic today; everything just seems to be going wrong. First they didn't size Yoongi’s wardrobe correctly so it looks like he’s drowning in clothes. Secondly, and out of anyone's control, MNET had mixed up their dressing room luggage to be on the other side of the building. They are now behind schedule and very stressed about it. Even worse, for Jimin, Jungkook has been acting off all day. It seems like Jimin is the only one who’s noticed his odd behaviour. 

“He seems off Tae.” Jimin says, adjusting his hair in the bathroom mirror. Covered in gold chains and completely draped in white clothes. He doesn't like dressing like this, but he has almost convinced himself that he doesn't have a problem with it. 

“Jimin, he’s alright you're worrying about nothing.” Tae says calmly, inspecting his own outfit in the mirror. He and Jimin seem to share the same thoughts on their wardrobe. “You are just hyper focused on him and over analyzing everything he does.” He says nonchalantly. “He is probably just nervous about this being our first comeback.” A blush shoots up the back of Jimin’s neck making the whole room warm. He doesn't need to pretend in front of Taehyung, but naturally he feels like he has to do so. 

“I’m not. I’ve gotten over those weird emotions I was feeling. Everything’s normal now.” Jimin says, trying to make the blush on his neck dissolve; he is unsuccessful. Tae rolls his eyes and makes eye contact with Jimin in the mirror. Really trying to express his annoyance to Jimin. 

“You don't have to live in denial Jimin, denying how you feel for someone hurts. Especially when you feel like the whole world is against it.” Tae says, the serious expression has completely settled on his features. “Live your truth Jimin.” Is all the rest he can say before a Noona Kim walks in.

“Boys, it’s time.” she says, waving them out the door. What feels like not even moments later they are on stage giving a stellar performance. Over these last few months, they have gathered a small fan base and are very thankful for their small successes. Performing at M! Countdown is something they all have wanted for so long, but they are just happy to be on any stage that welcomes them. Everything in their world was almost perfect. 

“Jungkook! Jungkook where are you?” Namjoon shouts, barely being heard as the crowd is going crazy. Everyone is backstage, trying to look for Jungkook, but it’s like he disappeared out of thin air.

“Jungkook! Everything’s okay! Please come out.” Yoongi shouts. He just ran off stage. The moment the performance was done, they looked around and he was just gone. He had mixed up verses in a few songs, probably just his nerves taking over his brain. Jungkook was prone to getting nervous on stage, they all were, they were rookies after all. But none of them would ever run off like that, because it would be considered unprofessional in the music industry, and they are really trying to be taken seriously as artists. But Jungkook was still a teenager; a kid. As were most of them.

Jungkook doesn't run off and that’s the bottom line. Jimin’s insides were screaming. He broke away from the group’s search party. Looking under tables, in every bathroom he could find, in closets, cupboards, but still couldn't find him. That was until he heard small weeps that made his heart sink. He opened a door to a control room and there he was, Jungkook, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. Jimin sinks down to his level on the floor, his concerned expression softens to a dull hurt. 

“Jungkook... “ is all he says before he pulls Jungkook into his chest and holds him tight, rubbing his back. Trying to ignore the aching feeling in his heart. 

“I ruined everything... it’s all my fault.” Jungkook says, letting more tears fall from his eyes. Jimin has seen Jungkook cry. Only when he is homesick or when he misses his family, but never like this. 

“Kookie you didn't ruin anything, don't say that. Everyone forgets words sometimes.” he keeps rubbing Jungkook’s back and hearing the small sobs come from his lips are breaking Jimin’s heart more and more. 

“I wanted to do better and I messed everything up. I want to do it all over again. I can’t believe I did that. I’m so stupid.” Jungkook tearing himself down is tearing Jimin down as well. Jungkook is inconsolable, ripping apart at the seams and Jimin can't find a way to stitch him back together. 

“Jungkook…” Jimin starts and Jungkook looks into his eyes. Face streaked with tears and his eyes are bloodshot and puffy. Jimin takes his shirt and wipes Jungkook’s nose. “Don't say those things, they're not true at all.” they keep their eyes connected. Jungkook seeming to try and find the truth written in Jimin’s eyes. “You’re an amazing performer Jungkook; y-you have this fire. Almost like you were born to be there… and no matter how many small mistakes you make… nothing will ever take that away.” Jungkook remains silent, both boys are trapped inside each other’s stare. Neither of them can look away. Jimin’s belly is on fire. Reluctantly, he brushes Jungkook’s hair out of his eyes, and Jungkook doesn’t move away. But instead he leans into Jimin’s touch. Letting Jimin touch his profile and neck. 

“Oh fuck it!!” 

With Jimin’s mind screaming at him he leans in and kisses Jungkook softly. He is barely pushing in before he pulls away; hiding his face in his white sleeve. Jungkook’s face is blank, with a hot blush dusted on his cheeks and on his ears. He doesn’t know what to say; what do you say to this? 

“Was this a confession? A spur of the moment kiss? Just overwhelmed?” These thoughts made Jungkook’s head spin until he felt nauseous; he’s going to throw up. Right now. 

He stands immediately, leaving Jimin on the floor of the control room, running to the nearest bathroom. He feels the burn building inside his throat. He is scared and doesn't know why or what to say. It was a kiss but was it just a kiss? He wonders while he empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He feels like everything is on fire inside his chest. His stomach hurts and his lips burn. He touches them, soothing the tingling feeling on his lips with the tips of his fingers. Playing the last moments through his mind over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im sorry for not updating again for awhile, things have been really hard for me and I hope you all understand. i will try an update again asap. i hope you enjoy this slow burn haha. sorry its a short one again. 
> 
> enjoy  
> bmj
> 
> ill try and update again this week


	7. 2013 Part Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!! - self harm, mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts.   
> This was difficult for me to even write, I myself have struggled with this up to this day. Please receive help from a partner/spouse, friend, parent, and/or a professional.  
> You are loved I promise.  
> -bmj (fanboy)

That moment had come and go so fast Jimin barely remembers it happening at all. The day had turned into night and Jimin was in the bathroom staring at himself in the mirror; disgusted with himself. 

“How could I do that to him? How could I just-ugh-kiss him like that?” These words circled his mind over and over. Everything was heavy inside his skull, even though the throbbing of a headache arrived the moment that Jungkook had run out of the control room doors and Hadn't been seen by Jimin since. Even though the kiss was only hours ago, it feels like Jimin has enough regret to last a lifetime. 

He absentmindedly grips his wrist, another bolt of pain shoots up his arm, this time it almost covers the regret he feels in his heart. He reaches into the drawer to his left and pulls out a safety razor and unscrews the sides to reveal a shiny and sharp blade. He pinches it between his fingers until he feels a small pinch; he winces. He pulls up his white sleeve and unwraps his arm from the protective sleeve his Noona put on him. She is the only one who knows about his ‘habits’, and that’s only by accident not Jimin’s permission. She walked in too soon when he was changing his shirt and saw all of the ‘evidence’. She was heartbroken, but promised to tell nobody. 

He puts the sharp, cold , steel to his arm and starts to lose his thoughts. One after another he goes until his knees start to feel weak. All he can see is red and white, the red from his veins and the white from his vision blurring the bathroom counter top and the lights into one. He can’t see anything. He tries to set the razor down on the counter but he stumbles backwards and lands on the ground. Thankfully, not hitting his head, just mildly hurting his ass and getting blood all over his shirt. He seemed to have made quite the noise, as a meek creaking sound comes from his right.

“Hello? Is everything okay-Jimin?!” A tall figure rushes to his side. Jimin blinks a few times, looking up, trying to clear his vision enough to see what is going on. “Jimin-ah-are you okay-oh my god of course you’re not-there’s so much blood.” Jimin knows that voice, that scared voice; Taehyung. 

“Tae?” is all Jimin could let out. His mind was so fast but so slow all at once. He reaches out to touch Taehyung but e is already at the sink wetting a washcloth and setting in on Jimin’s forearm. The sting almost calms Jimin’s bursting heart. 

“Jimin-ah…” Tae is crying. It broke Jimin’s heart into pieces, his soulmate hurting because of him. “Jimin-ah...why didn't you tell me about this? We are best friends, you’re supposed to tell me when you're hurting. We are in this together.” Tae sounds as worried as he is hurt. There really is a lot of blood seeping through the towel. 

“I-I know.” Jimin’s mind was numb, he could barely think. But what do you say? What do you say to your best friend, and soulmate, who just caught you in your guilty pleasure? Pleasure? No payment, payment to yourself. The payment Jimin feels inside his heart of hearts that he truly deserved. 

“What happened? Please tell me.” Taehyung applied more pressure to Jimin’s arm, the bleeding is starting to subside, but the mess remains. “Please Jimin.”

“There’s nothing to talk about Taehyung.” Jimin could feel the hurt radiating off of Tae. But, he knew that Tae was too selfless to force.

“Fine. I’ll get Jungkook and you can talk to him.” Jimin’s heart fell into his feet. He never knew Tae as the kind who would try these kind of ‘healing’ tactics. 

“Taehyung don't talk like that.” 

“You’re not my hyung.”

“I’m your best friend.”  
“As I am yours, which is why I want you to talk to Jungkook.” Taehyung grabs a First Aid Kit out of the bathroom closet and pulls out rubbing alcohol. HE starts wiping down Jimin’s arm with it. “He has trapped himself in his room, I assume from doing poorly at the comeback show. He might need some pep talking from-”

“We kissed Tae.” Tae drops the bottle of alcohol at Jimin’s feet, absolutely stunned beyond recognition. 

“W-What?” Tae stutters in response. “You kissed?”

“I kissed him in the control room of MNET. He was crying after the performance; I found him there.” Jimin says all of this numbly to Taehyung, his eyes completely glossed over with hurt. 

“How did he respond?” Tae leans in closer to Jimin; anxious. 

“He ran away”

“He just… ran away?” Tae asks with worlds of confusion on his face once again. “Why did he-”

“I don't know! I don't know...he just left me there in the dark control room. Crying to myself, regretting everything like an idiot. Feeling like the worlds biggest fuck up.” A few tears roll down Jimin’s cheeks unknowingly. He doesn't even bother wiping them away, he just lets them fall. Taehyung shifts his weight, one leg to the other, thinking. 

“You need to talk to Kookie, Jimin.” He says softly, pulling Jimin into his chest, brushing Jimin’s hair in his hands. He has never felt so worried for anyone in his entire life. “This is moving from a mental thing, into a physical thing. I care about you so much and I want you to be happy. You can’t be happy if you ignore how you are feeling.” Jimin is hanging onto every single word. “I know we are told to think that certain things in this world are wrong. But, there are things that are said to be wrong even when they are the most right. Love is love Jimin, everyone deserves it, no matter what.” Tears have soaked their way down Jimin’s cheeks; he had no idea he was even crying. Taehyung is brushing Jimin’s hair and rubbing his back, still giving him the comfort he craves. 

“I love you Jimin, I care about you. You need to do this, if not for yourself, but Jungkook.” Jimin’s heart stopped in his chest, the only sound coming from his body is the echo os Taehyung’s words ringing through his skull. “Do it for Jungkook...he must be confused.” Jimin hadn’t even thought of that, his first instinct was to stand, but Tae held him back. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Let’s get this sorted out first.” He says softly, motioning towards Jimin’s messing shirt. “This will stay between us, but you need to come to me when you get these urges again. Or else I will tell someone.”

[Author: please me mindful of what Taehyung does and please judge the situation for yourself, this was Taehyung’s judgement, please make your own as well if you're ever in this situation like he is] 

“Okay.” Is all Jimin lets out before Tae wraps him in a hug.

Taehyung takes very good care of Jimin. He washes his arm thoroughly, making sure nothing will get infected later. He then spreads a thin layer of neosporin all over his forearm and wraps it snugly in the ace bandage sleeve from his noona. He gently guides Jimin’s shirt off and tosses it into the hamper in his bedroom, he comes back with a clean button down pajama shirt. He assists him in putting it on and buttons it. 

“You can talk to him in the morning, I want you to rest. You're sleeping with me tonight.” Tae leaves no room for discussion, argument, or discontentment. He lets Jimin comfortable lay in his bed while Tae changes. They’re best friends, they’ve shared a bed on more than one occasion. “Goodnight Jimin-ssi.”

‘Goodnight Tae-ssi.”

“I care about you.”

“I care about you too.”


	8. 2013 End Part 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the 2013 chapters will be split into two parts, this is part one of the two. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY. Just the end of the year (2013). Part one anyways. Bookmark so you get alerted when part two comes out!!  
> Hope youre ready for some angst guys, gals, and pals.   
> -bmj 
> 
> Also, im still working on the first oneshot! dont worry! i was just trying to update this first before I continued working on it!

Jimin’s body as never felt so worn and beaten down. He woke up with Taehyung sleeping next to him, with Tae’s arm wrapped firmly around Jimin’s middle. Tae churned when Jimin sat up, blinking a few times before opening his eyes fully.

“G’morning.” he yawns. “How did you sleep?” Jimin sits, stirring his answer inside his head.   
“I’ve slept better.” Jimin scratches the back of his neck. Taehyung sighs. 

“You woke up every few hours.” Tae stands and pulls a shirt over his head. 

“I know.” Jimin says nonchalantly. He knows he hardly got any sleep last night. He can feel it in his bones; he is absolutely exhausted.

“Let’s go to the bathroom. We have to change your bandages.” Jimin shudders at Tae’s words. He looked into his own reflection in the mirror, he has never really seen himself more broken. The bags under his eyes look like they weigh three-hundred pounds, and his sleepy exterior doesn't help as his pajamas are wrinkled beyond straightening. He stands however, following Taehyung to the bathroom. 

“Shirt off, please, Mr. Park.” Taehyung says; emotionless. Jimin knows Taehyung is trying to make this as calm as he possibly can. Their friendship hasn't really had to go through anything like this before. It’s like they are working together mindlessly. Jimin unbuttoning his shirt, Taehyung removing his bandage, and the ordeal of Jimin’s last night being flooded back into his memory while Taehyung is assessing his arm closely. “You won’t need stitches thankfully, but I will keep a close watch for a few days.” he says, cleaning Jimin’s arm with a disinfectant cloth, he flinches at the sharp pain shooting through his wounds. 

“Are you…” he doesn't exactly know how to word this the right way, Jimin doesn't even think there is a right way to put this anyhow. “Are you still making me talk to Jungkook?” he says, coming out almost apathetically, he is drained after all. Taehyung stops cleaning and kneels in front of Jimin on the floor while he is on the toilet lid. 

“Jimin..” Tae starts. “I’m worried about you, and I know everyone else would be too if they knew what was going on. I know if Jungkook knew you were going through all of this alone, he would want to be there for you too.” he continues. Jimin can feel tears brim his eyes. “Like I told you last night, love is love, and everyone deserves it Jimin. You don't deserve to feel this way or do these things to yourself.” Taehyung motions to Jimin’s arm with his eyes and intertwines their hands together. “I want you to talk to him, not as a form of punishment, but as a form of self help. You need to have this kind of communication. For yourself.” Taehyung stops, Jimin can only nod as tears stream down his cheeks at his best friends words.

He knows what he has to do, but not entirely sure how to do it. Nonetheless, Tae wraps his arm back in a clean bandage,. Taehyung must have texted Noona Kim last night since there was a fresh package of them sitting on the bathroom sink, Jimin sighed once more. Taehyung helped him button up his pajama shirt again just like last night, this one clean and with less wrinkles. Jimin examines himself in the mirror, taking his time leaving the bathroom. 

“Jimin…” he looks at Taehyung. “Don't procrastinate.” he says this as sweetly and calmly as possible; Jimin is still very fragile, but less so compared to last night. Jimin just nods and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He looks down the hall and sees Jungkook’s door shut firmly. He squeezes his hands into fists and takes a deep breath in his nose, and out his mouth. He has to do it, if not for him, then for Jungkook. 

He knocks.

The pressure inside his chest makes him feel as though he is going to explode. But yet, nobody comes to the door. Not a response. Not an acknowledgement. He knocks again and still after a few moments there is still nothing. Taking a risk he opens the door slowly, shielding his eyes out of habit, they have all walking in on each other a few too many times since they started living in such tight quarters. As he removes his hands from his eyes, he sees nothing. Except he sees an empty, nicely made, bed and freshly washed laundry sitting atop, as well as a note reading:  
“Went for a run.   
Back at dinner.”  
Signed with a small ‘JK’. As much as Jimin is relieved he gets to avoid Jungkook for a few more hours, he still has a sinking feeling in his chest; guilt. He wants to clear the air, but still hasn't figured out how to. 

It was particularly a chilly day in Seoul, it made Jungkook's lungs burn differently than just him being exhausted and well worked. He liked working out, he liked it a lot. He liked taking care of himself and feeling confident that he was slowly, but surely, getting stronger. He also likes being alone with his thoughts, and when he works out or goes on runs, it makes thinking a lot easier than sitting cooped up in a tight, messy dorm. But, today isn't really a day where he is thankful that he is alone with his thoughts. The kiss from the day before playing over and over inside his mind. The sight of him running out of the control room, tear stains stinging his cheeks. Him having a panic attack and vomiting in a bathroom stall, alone, and scared. 

As much as he wants to shake these thoughts, he can't. As much as he wants to not think about how Jimin makes his insides turn to jelly and his cheeks feel like they are on fire; he just can't bring himself to stop his mind from wandering. He hopes these feelings fade, he just wants to keep ignoring them, but last night makes that so hard. The feeling of Jimin’s soft, plush lips against his own. Even if it was only for a few seconds, it felt like hours, but in the best way possible. He doesn't want to ‘fall into liking’ with Jimin. He doesn't know how to handle that. His mind can't wrap around that idea. He just wants this whole thing to disappear.


	9. 2013 Part 9 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the End of 2013 (in this universe) and Happy New Year in the current time. I'm sorry I haven't updated in millions of years, but school was busy, but anyways, enjoy this longish chapter. I will seriously try and update more now that I have a better schedule. 
> 
> I'll be back soon for what would be 2014 in this universe. So when I return it'll be the New Year for the boys haha. Happy 2014 again. 
> 
> -bmj

Jungkook slipped into the dorm as quietly as he could, his shoes and coat sliding off his body as he swiftly went into his dark bedroom. Thankfully everyone was asleep and he had no roommate to worry about waking up. He grabs a change of clothes and tip-toes into the bathroom and closes the door. Turning the hot water on with a squeak of the foset, the room starts to fill with steam. He rids himself of his clothes and looks at himself in the mirror. He notices the puffiness underneath his eyes that are being shadowed with purple bags, along with his cheeks looking a little more hollow from his lack of sleep for almost two nights in a row. But, he tries to digress from his thoughts and just let the warm water swallow him whole.   
Before Jungkook can even begin to relax beneath the warm water, he hears the door open hesitantly, then close again. Footsteps make their way over to the toilet and sits down. 

“Hello?” Jungkook says; no response. Annoyance takes over him. “Taehyung it’s not funny. You scared me.” Once again, still no response. “Tae?” His curiosity takes over him and he opens the shower curtain slightly and looks to see Jimin, sitting quietly on the toilet lid, with his legs criss-cross. Jungkook gulps, knowing that there is no way he can avoid Jimin like this. 

“It’s not Tae.” Jimin replies quietly, after many moments of silence. “Also, you’re getting the floor wet, I would close the curtain.” Jungkook stunned, he looks down at the floor to see a small pool of water outside the shower. Along with more and more tiny droplets adding to it. 

“R-Right.” Jungkook says before closing the curtain again. The next few minutes of silence are awkward to say the least. Jimin isn't saying anything, and Jungkook has no idea whether or not is is inappropriate to continue showing or not. Can he shampoo his hair? Or is that rude to do during this conversation of unspoken dialogue. His mind is starting to spiral, his belly and throat full of words that he doesn't know how to let out. Until Jimin finally decides to break the silence. 

“H-How are you?” is everything he says. Jungkook gulps again. 

“I’ve been better.” Why did he reply with that. 

“Can I just-I don't know how to-Jungkook I-” Jungkook is trying to finish Jimin’s sentences, but it's so hard. He wishes he could just read his mind, and consume whatever thoughts Jimin has to give himself the answers he’s been looking for. 

“Jungkook I’m sorry. I-I shouldn't have done what I did, I wasn't thinking. It was spur of the moment. It was-it was-I’m not sure what it was. All I know is that I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Even though his rambles, Jungkook knows that Jimin is guilty; ashamed? He’s not sure about what exactly, besides that he just sounds broken. 

“Jimin it’s-” Jungkook doesn't even get to explain.   
“No, Jungkook I’m sorry. I’m gross I just shouldn't have-shouldn't have-” Jungkook is hanging on each of Jimin’s words. “Shouldn't have..” then Jungkook realizes; Jimin can’t say it. He can't say what he did. 

“Jimin” Jungkook turns off the water. His hair damp, he grabs the towel off the hook and wrapped it around his waist, and opens the curtain. Standing face to face with Jimin for the first time in days. He looks exhausted. So utterly and extremely exhausted and beaten down. Almost like what he did has been consuming him from the inside out. But why? “Jimin-ah?” he continues. “Jimin-ah look at me.” Jimin shakes his head as he keeps looking at Jungkook’s feet. “Okay then.” Jungkook forces his feet to move towards Jimin and he sits at his feet this time in front of Jimin. Sits criss-cross and tries to look at Jimin in the eyes, Jimin is still being stubborn and not letting Jungkook look at him, so he closes his eyes. Jungkook looks at Jimin’s closed eyelids and sees wet tear stains on his cheeks, and he takes his chance. He lifts his hand and moves his index finger along the stain down his cheek; Jungkook’s skin feels like it’s on fire. Jungkook never knew how soft Jimin’s skin was, how small Jimin could actually be. The Jimin that he knew was the ‘hard’ and ‘hyper-masculine’ Jimin. The Jimin who overworked himself every single day to be perfect. Was he compensating for something? He knew that Jimin wasn't healthy, he knew that he was struggling with certain things about his appearance or performances, but he didn't know anything else. Jungkook and probably so many other people only say a ‘side’ of Jimin, but there is clearly more than one side to him. What is the other side like?

“J-Jungkook?” Jimin lifts his head finally, now with Jungkook’s hand on Jimin’s cheek. He didn't even realize that he was lost in his own head, he thought only seconds went by. “Jungkook?” Jimin says again, snapping Jungkook out of himself. 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry.” Jungkook moves his hand away but Jimin grabs his wrist before he can pull back completely. Jungkook looks at him, baffled, but he lets his arm go limp in Jimin’s hold. 

“I’m sorry Jungkookie..” Jimin’s head looks down to his lap again. 

“I know.” his head snaps up at Jungkook’s words. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I know you’re sorry.” Jimin looks stunned? Scared? Once again, Jungkook isn't quite sure, unlike Jungkook, Jimin doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. Jungkook decides to stop thinking, he makes a decision to go into autopilot, and pull Jimin off the seat. Into Jungkook’s lap on the floor; and into a hug. Jimin is shocked but doesn't pull away, but doesn't reciprocate either. Jungkook realizes this and holds Jimin tighter instead of just letting go. Then as if he put Jimin under a spell, he hugs back with such fervor that he knocks Jungkook backwards onto the tiled floor, but still, neither of them let go of the other. 

“Jungkook I-I’m sorry.” Jimin heaves into Jungkook’s bare chest, he can feel Jimin’s face heating up with tears. Jungkook tries to sit them both up to look at Jimin properly, but Jimin refuses and starts to hold Jungkook tighter. 

“Jimin stop apologizing and let me look at you.” Jimin shakes his head, and starts sobbing almost immediately. “Hey, hey it’s okay.” Jungkook cooes in his ear, trying to calm him down. 

“J-Jung-kookie I-I’m sorry.” Jimin sobs more into Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook pulls Jimin up off of the floor. Jungkook can't quite carry him, so he just guides Jimin to his room while still wrapped in Jungkook’s arms. 

He sits Jimin on his bed and tries to let go, Jimin doesn't budge. 

“Hey, hey let go it’s okay.” Jungkook says; Jimin shakes his head. “I’m just going to put on some clothes then I will be back. Okay?” With saying that, Jimin hesitantly lets him go and scooches off the corner of Jungkook’s bed. Jungkook goes back into the bathroom, grabs his clothes off of the floor and changes into them. He wipes off the wet puddle on the floor in front of the shower and throws his dirty clothes and towel into the hamper. While he brushes his teeth he looks in the mirror, his cheeks are flushed and his hair looks so tousled. He thinks back to just a few moments ago, sitting on the floor without a shirt and Jimin in his lap. Brushing the tears off his wet cheek and feeling his warm, soft skin beneath his fingertips. Jungkooks mind starts to wander, what if he kissed Jimin back? Returned the gesture? But Jimin said it was a mistake, was it really? What if they did more- Jungkook shakes his mind of these thoughts and puts his toothbrush back into the drawer. He walks back into his bedroom to see Jimin, asleep on top of the blankets, holding a pillow to his chest. Jungkook goes into autopilot again, since that seems to be the only way he can act shamelessly, and he moves the covers from underneath Jimin, and gets into his bed beside him, pulling up the blanket over them both. Jungkook sinks down into his pillow, trying to get comfortable. Jimin, presumably asleep, jostles and puts his head into Jungkooks chest and nuzzles closer to him. Surprised, Jungkook carefully wraps his arm around Jimin’s side, and pulls him closer. He closes his eyes, all he can smell is a mix of his and Jimin’s body washes and clothes. Despite that, it was the only thing that lulled both of them into their first peaceful sleep in days.


	10. 2014 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a new year in the world of Zero Gravity. 2014!
> 
> Enjoy, more soon!  
> -bmj

Sunlight bled through the curtains, blinding Jimin as he opened his eyes slightly. He feels warmer than he did the night before, he feels rested. Then realization hits him like a ton of bricks. The strong arm around his middle, the soft breathing in his ear, and even though he is slightly disoriented with his morning puffiness; he knows that he isn't in his or Taehyung’s room. The events of the night before, much like a bad dream, start to resurface and both guilt and shame start to come to the forefront of Jimin’s mind. 

Then he feels Jungkook stir, moving his arm down further on Jimin’s abdomen, right above the waistband of his shorts. Jimin’s stomach tenses up, rightfully, and his face is dusted with a light shade of pink. As if on key, Jungkook stirs again, this time totally removing his arm from Jimin’s body and turning to face the other direction; his back now to Jimin’s. Jimin takes a deep breath and sits up slowly, trying not to disturb the sleeping Jungkook. He gently gets off from his side of the small bed, and his warm feet hit the cold floor. Jimin’s body lets out a harsh shiver from his shoulders down his spine, and he looks over his shoulder at the bed. Jungkook is facing away from him, he’s wearing a black t-shirt and basketball shorts, and his hair is gently tousled from his sleeping movements. A smile creeps across Jimin’s face and his cheeks fill with fire again. But, that smile is short lasting, Jungkook stirs again in his sleep and Jimin has to make a decision. He makes his choice. He slowly goes over to Jungkook’s desk and pulls a pen from his cup and writes a simple:   
I’m so sorry - JM  
Then, Jimin leaves Jungkook’s room, much like last night never happened. It’s not that he wanted to forget, he just wanted Jungkook to forget, more like he hoped that he would. 

-

He doesn't know whether it was the morning sunlight, or his blasting alarm, but Jungkook woke up rather uncomfortable. He turns off his alarm and reluctantly checks his phone, it reads 10:35a.m, or just way too early for Jungkook this morning. Luckily it is the weekend so they don't have many company plans today, or so Jungkook thinks. He looks to his left and the bed is emptier than the night before. He should've known that Jimin wouldn't be there when he woke up, he must've set his expectations and desires too high today. However, despite the bad taste in his mouth from waking up to an empty bed, he grudingly makes his way to the bathroom. He runs into none other than Min Yoongi himself. 

“Goodmorning Hyung.” Jungkook says, giving Yoongi a half smile and a nod. Yoongi, in his still half asleep stupor, gives a small nod in return. 

“Morning Kookie.” he says, in a thick Daegu satoori; it really takes Jungkook by surprise. “Jin was looking for you, he woke up early for New Years Eve preparations and he wanted you to go to the store for him to pick up some ingredients.” Yoongi continued, very unphased by Jungkook’s surprise.

“New Years Eve? Already? Is that today?” Jungkook asks, absolutely baffled.

“Uhm, yeah? Where have you been?” Yoongi rolls his eyes and takes his toothbrush out of the holder. “Today in a few hours we have the MNET New Years Performance, don't be late or make any plans.” Jungkook just nods in response and leaves Yoongi to his own devices in the bathroom with his toothbrush. Jungkook feels very dazed and confused, how could he have forgotten New Years? Then he starts thinking about how distracted he’s been recently, and how his mind is very busy worrying about other things. 

“Jungkook! There you are, you finally rose and joined the Land of the Living!” Jin yells from the kitchen. 

“Huh?” is all Jungkook replies with before he sees the other members, minus Taehyung and Jimin, all sitting at the breakfast bar or helping Jin in the kitchen with food preparations. Not seeing Jimin makes his heart hurt, did he do something wrong last night? Did he cross an unspoken line?

-

It’s very cold when Taehyung led Jimin outside. Tae has a firm, very firm, hold on Jimin’s arm while he is dragging him outside the dorm into the main areas of the BigHit offices. He leads him to an empty office room and closes the door and shuts the blinds. Which is seemingly pointless on a Saturday on New Years Eve, all of the ‘regular employees’ are with their families. The only people here are them, a janitor, choreographers and a few high executives. The only people they had to worry about here people who weren't even in this building. Tae finally lets go of Jimin’s arm. 

“What the fuck was that?!” Tae shouts, not so much questioningly, but more accusingly.

“Huh?” Jimin furrows his eyebrows, very confused. “What are you talking about?” Tae’s face seems so glow with rage.

“I said, what the fuck was that! You left him a note and left?!” tae pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. But Jimin is seemingly more frustrated.

‘Huh? What are you talking about? Left who a note and left?!” Jimin is almost bursts a lung with how loud he screams. 

“Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook! You left his room with only a note?! You’re-you’re unbelievable?”

“I’m-I’m unbelievable?! I’m not the one spying on my best friend! How do you know what I did?” Jimin accuses, pushing Tae’s chest, glaring at him. 

“Jungkook left his door open last night, I saw both of you sleeping.” Tae seems more calm now after the intense escalation. “Then when I went in this morning to wake you both up for breakfast, which you missed by the way, I saw Jungkook alone and your note on his desk.” Tae looks hurt by his own words, he bites his tongue though, visibly. 

“What do you care what I did?!” Tae seems very unsatisfied with Jimin’s answer.

“You do understand Jimin, that this whole situation isn’t about you?” Tae says, leaning against an abandoned table in the empty room, looking at Jimin with utter disappointment. “Jungkook has feelings, and it seems like you are completely forgetting that. You can't just-you cant toy with him like this.” Tae rubs his eyes. 

“What do you mean? I am thinking of his feelings?” Jimin’s eyes start to water. “That’s why I left in the first place. I-I didn't want him to feel shame or embarrassment.” Jimin looks down and wiped the tear that's trying to slip from his eye. Tae softens at Jimin’s words. 

“Hey, look at me.” Tae is standing over Jimin now, trying to get Jimin to look at him in the eyes. “What do you mean shame? How would he feel ashamed?” Jimin looks up at Tae. Jimin’s eyes look broken, scared, but also completely full of hurt.


	11. 2014 Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this small update! I am working on three other writing projects and I am super excited. one will be Omegaverse that's going to be in the oneshot book, another is an AU apart of the one shots as well, and then the final one is a big writing project I've been working on for months and its my own world with my own characters. let me know what you all think! see you soon!
> 
> enjoy this little filler chapter!
> 
> -bmj

“Manager Choi called me earlier today, he said it would be in our best interest to go into the studio and practice choreo sometime before MNET this evening.” Namjoon shares, taking a large spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth.

“I mean, we have everything down. We just went over it all yesterday. Why can't he trust us?” Yoongi groans, rolling his eyes loudly. Hoseok grunts under his breath at the elder, and pushes his spoon into his bowl, submerging it in cereal.

“Maybe because some of us are struggling to catch on quickly.” he says bitterly. Yoongi’s glare is sharp as glass.

“Maybe if some people would contribute to more than choreography then I wouldn't have to be up all night talking with SupremeBoi-Hyung writing lyrics.” he lets out a sarcastic cough. “Hoseok.” Namjoon seems even more exhausted at the bickering and decides to end it all.   
“Listen, I get it we are all tired. But arguing will do nothing besides make everything much harder to bear. SO both of you, grow the fuck up.” He says this and in one swift motion, he stands, pushes his chair in, and walks to his bedroom and closes the door. Jungkook is left shocked, sitting quietly to begin with, but now his silence is attracting much more attention as Taehyung and Jimin emerge from the front door of the dorm. 

“What’s going on here?” Taehyung almost bellows, slipping his shoes off and pulling out the chair Namjoon just pushed in. Jungkook notices Jimin’s uncomfortable gaze, very much avoiding Jungkook’s eyes. 

“Hoseok and Yoongi are busy irritating each other which in hand irritates Namjoon.” Jin says nonchalantly, still standing in the kitchen doing preparations for the New Year’s festivities this evening. 

“I mean, what’s new.” Jimin added, quietly pulling up a chair next to Taehyung. Both of them looking at each other, then Jimin looks down to the floor. Jungkook’s frustration is becoming a lot harder to hide. His skin feels like it’s burning in more ways than one. He feels like he is yelling but nobody can hear his silenced screams. He wants to shake Jimin and scream in his face. He just wants Jimin back, the way everything was before. Abruptly, Jungkook stands. 

“I’m going to my room.” he says, pushing his chair in and abandoning his bowl of cereal. 

“Well, great. Now 5/7ths of us are confirmed irritated. I feel like I need to take some sort of leadership here.” Jin starts, tossing his apron onto the counter with one motion. “Hobi, why don’t you come to the store with me this afternoon. Give us some time away and try and separate all of us from one small dorm-container.” he suggests. Hoseok shrugs and stands, picking up the bowls left from the previous owners and tossing them into the sink.

“Sure.” is all Hoseok replies with before putting on his shoes and heading out the door with Jin. Yoongi looks at Taehyung and nods. Then he looks to Jimin, and Jimin looks at both of them confused.

“You do understand that Jungkook isnt stupid right, Jimin?” Yoongi says. Causing Jimin to almost fly out of his chair. He looks at Taehyung accusingly, but Yoongi replies before any murder ensues. “Taehyung told me nothing, he just verified my suspicions.” Is all Yoongi says before standing like the others had before him. “Don’t let him get away Jimin, you’re worth more than you think.” then Yoongi leaves Taehyung and Jimin alone. Jimin, stunned from the encounter with their quiet hyung triggers a feeling of betrayal underneath his skin. He punches Tae in the shoulder, making the taller boy wince.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a kudos and comment!


End file.
